WilliWowza
MySpaceEntry #8
I Pack My Case, I Check My Face
9/26/08 by WilliWowza
I look a little bit older
I look a little bit colder.
Tomorrow (27th) I'll be moving into my room at University, thrown into a situation I'm not prepared for physically or mentally. I'll be expected to mingle and interact with people to make friends and get along fine and dandy. Lately I've just been swathed with the usual comforting comments of 'be yourself, talk to people, you'll make loads of friends', which is well enough to say, but when it comes down to the crunch experience has taught me it doesn't usually work out that way. Not to mention the one person I do want comforting me isn't.
So that'll be fun, I'm not in the greatest mood but I try not to be down and whining all the time. No one likes it when people are sad and they're trying to maintain and upbeat attitude. What has sitting around crying every accomplished? Well probably a few life changing epiphanies but that's not my style. I kick ass and chew bubblegum, except my kicks are weak and I'd end up spitting the gum out if I tried to blow a bubble.
Lately my days have been spent mostly just playing video games, I don't see why they wouldn't be but it does often lead to moments when you just sit there and wonder what the hell you're doing. I don't feel like I need to conform to society's standards of having loads of friends and going out if I was content with what I was doing, which I always for the most part have been, but now I'm not. Being stuck indoors so much just gives you too much time sitting with only your own thoughts when you eventually exhaust all forms of entertainment to the point of boredom.
Been playing many of my old games simply to try and get those achievements that were too hard or time consuming to get when I first played through. Completed Mass Effect, Bioshock and some others now with all the achivements and for the time some of them took to get you really don't feel that much better at the end when that little number goes up slightly. It's cool to think 'yeah im slightly better than these guys', but the only people that will see are those looking at your profile and the biggest reaction it'll probably garner is 'hm, cool'.
Thinking of buying some RPGs soon, I like the way how the ones with a good story can just draw you in and make you forget about everything else going on around you. I want to feel like I did as a kid playing FF7 for the first time, and all I could think about whilst playing it were the characters and the story. Movies are good at this to some extent, but since you're just watching you sometimes don't feel as involved with the story and they're never as long as games last.
I also spend a lot of my time browsing the BBS, just reading, not even posting anymore. General forum is all the same every time I look 50% of the topics are girls problems and the other 50% are about school, two topics that I have no interest in discussing on NG. I wish I had the same enthusiasm for posting I did before, but the BBS just doesn't seem the same anymore and a lot of the people that made it special have gone and aren't being replaced by the new crowd.
The Killers, my favouritest band ever, have announced their new single 'Human' recently and I'm loving this song. If you haven't heard it, DO, it might be tricky since YouTube is clamping down on it like a lobster on steroids. It's worth a listen and along with the other two songs from the new album, has really hyped me up for it. I like having something to look forward to. Christmas don't cut it no more.
Just writing all this out makes me feel like some whiney livejournal blogger, but it's better to get it out than sit around F5ing the same page over and over for 10 minutes. If you've sat through reading all this, WELL DONE and THANKS. I want to be upbeat and say screw the world, but there's little giving me that enthusiasm at the moment.
So if I succeed in making hundreds of new friends I'm sure I'll be out all night partying and never have time to come on NG anymore, if I don't.................................
..well I'll be on here as usual, probably more.
IN OTHER NEWS KNUCKLES' HAT IS ON FIRE!
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3/26/09
Willeh! Don't be so down, you know Janine's always gotcha back ;]
And I understand what you mean about FF7. I've been trying to buy it, because I lost my one donkeys ago. But even a preowned one is about £40, whilst a new one would cost almost £90-£100.. which I don't know if it's worthit, if I had the time and money to burn then maybe. But I have neither, so maybe not.
Hey your life isn't so bad. Look at me, I have no job anymore.. I am sitting at home all day, and really have lost interest in everything I used to find fun and fulfilling. I don't even have the imagination nor the commitment to write stories anymore.. The only good thing I have to look forward to is my baby and my wedding next year. But sometimes I dwell on the past, and I really do miss the old days, me, you, on Skype. Those were the days. Making fun out of Metalix (or whatever his name was lol). It's a shame we have to grow up isn't it?
Anyways, you knows I love ya, and always will :]
3/14/09
dad?
3/8/09
also... boner
3/4/09
This is old old old. You are old old old.
2/28/09
I pack my case. I check my face.
I look a little bit older.
I look a little bit colder.
With one deep breath, and one big step, I move a little bit closer.
I move a little bit closer.
For reasons unknown.
I cock my stride. *
I flew and flied.
I know if destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my mind.
But my heart, it dont beat, it dont beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they dont see you no more.
And my lips, they dont kiss, they dont kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you no more.
For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown.
There was an open chair.
We sat down in the open chair.
I said if destiny's kind, i've got the rest of my mind.
But my heart, it dont beat, it dont beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they dont see you no more.
And my lips, they dont kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you at all.
For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown.
I said my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to and my eyes don't recognize you no more.
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you no more.
For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown; for reasons unknown; for reasons unknown.
For Reasons Unknown
Awsome song ;)
But you should check out Say Anything as well, it's a great band
2/20/09
I like Mr. Brightside. I don't care how overplayed it is.
2/8/09
I saw The Killers at the Osheaga Festival last summer. ; w ;
1/12/09
That's because you're number 1, silly.
d
gf
sdfg
d'
fl
sdfg,..
1/8/09
http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=1009000
1/6/09
I love you.
1/5/09
Watching American Pie Beta House is the best way you can prepare for college you know
1/5/09
I'm coming to brighton right now willz.
12/27/08
dude. kiss some ass. im serious.
12/20/08
YOU ARE FUNNY ON STICKAM!
12/17/08
how old is this?
12/13/08
So uh hows it goin'?
12/10/08
Haha, I've felt like that too. I graduated from high school a few weeks ago, and (Granted I did well enough in the admission tests) I'll be attending university in March, and just the thought of it made me a bit uneasy. Well, it still does...I had this fear that I wouldn't fit and not being able to adapt, but I've been convincing myself not to worry about it, take this experience as it comes, and look forward to it with the best of expectations.
"Lately my days have been spent mostly just playing video games, I don't see why they wouldn't be but it does often lead to moments when you just sit there and wonder what the hell you're doing." Same here, sometimes when I'm at the computer playing games or watching Anime, I say to myself "Why am I here? I should be hanging out with friends partying or God knows what else!" It's such a crappy feeling and I wish I could do the shit I enjoy doing without feeling this worm walking around in my entrails.
Anywya, good luck at university. Hope you find your place and do great at whatever you're studying.
12/7/08
I had to switch schools this year. I thought I'd make friends fine. Boy was I wrong... :(
11/30/08
What the fuck Willi.
What happened to us?
:'[
11/15/08
does your heart beat the way it used to?
11/15/08
General is almost painful to post in now. I've found myself having to search and wait to even make a crappy post. It's all just spammy whining now, or the same topics on the same subjects. It's even the same school subjects that they talk about now, literally. It's like watching last year from a 3rd person perspective.
11/12/08
why are you so gay?
11/4/08
was there an open chair?
did you sit down there?
in the open chair?
11/3/08
You did a good job
A damn good job
10/30/08
Are you human?
10/29/08
never knew anyone else who likes the killers.
10/19/08
Aww, I hope you start feeling better mister.
10/19/08
I don't see you on msn anymore =(
10/8/08
Haha, I thought you'd be keeping that lost blog forever.
Don't know how you're getting on though, I hope you're doing fine. I was originally feeling uncomfortable, but I've settled in OK now. No one seems to be doing much work and they're all leaving classes early...hmm. Trouble is I think some of the lecturers have failed to engage these people, Intro to Games Development is the only class people give a damn about, because the lecturer is both very funny and amusing.
I will talk to you on MSN at the next available opportunity.
Take care mate.
10/5/08
Will, you're a perfectly likeable person so I don't see how you won't make friends. I'm sure things have gone well for you so far in uni and will continue to do so.
I'm hyped for Day & Age as well, should be a cracking listen. I don't suppose you could send me Human over MSN if you ever get the chance?
And yeah the BBS is shite.
Good luck with everything, mon frére.
10/1/08
I had to leave before I could finish what I was saying....
What the fuck was I saying? Something about you being hot, right?
Yeah, whatever you're hot.
I know what you're talking about the BBS thing. I do the exact same thing. I just sorta browse and never post. Sad really. It use to be such a nice community.
And I have been trying to listen to that song, but it is really hard to find it. I love the killers.
Lastly, you should make another paragraph about your undying love towards me. <3
9/30/08
Hey baby, it'll all be good.
Just be lucky that your a good looking fella and people will wanna hang out with you just for that reason. I know I do.
9/30/08
Dude
remember, I love you.
I hope things go well, and I know its hard, but I have faith :D
ALSO
ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE
i havent rang yet, but if you dont when I do, I will be very worried ;(
9/28/08
RL friends>e-friends.
sorry guys. So yeah, spend your time with your new friends. You don't need us losers. Honest.
9/28/08
valid points. can relate myself.
good luck in college.
9/27/08
About time you made a fucking new blog.
I hope today has gone well for you, and well even if you make hundred's of friends and go out every night I hope you won't forget the ones who've tried to help.
9/27/08
That new Killers song is pretty easy going. I really like it.
9/27/08
I CAME HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM
BUT I'M ALL OUT OF BUBBLE GUM
:(
9/27/08
I won't lie
You're fucked.
9/27/08
whoa dude, i always thought you were younger than that. cool to hear you're headin off to college, though... I always like to see people goin off into the big wide wonderful world, especially since i'm not going anywhere for a few years at least.
man, the bbs really is shit now. I go there and I just can't muster up the enthusiasm I used to... it's not even fun to lurk anymore. There's nothing even vaguely interesting to read, and I no longer care about becoming a "respected BBS reg" or being modded someday, a foolish goal in any case. that's how it goes with all forums, though... I have yet to find an online BBS that holds my attention even years later. dsfedgsd
THAT BETTER HAVE BEEN A WRONG NUMBER
9/26/08
cool