I look a little bit older
I look a little bit colder.
Tomorrow (27th) I'll be moving into my room at University, thrown into a situation I'm not prepared for physically or mentally. I'll be expected to mingle and interact with people to make friends and get along fine and dandy. Lately I've just been swathed with the usual comforting comments of 'be yourself, talk to people, you'll make loads of friends', which is well enough to say, but when it comes down to the crunch experience has taught me it doesn't usually work out that way. Not to mention the one person I do want comforting me isn't.
So that'll be fun, I'm not in the greatest mood but I try not to be down and whining all the time. No one likes it when people are sad and they're trying to maintain and upbeat attitude. What has sitting around crying every accomplished? Well probably a few life changing epiphanies but that's not my style. I kick ass and chew bubblegum, except my kicks are weak and I'd end up spitting the gum out if I tried to blow a bubble.
Lately my days have been spent mostly just playing video games, I don't see why they wouldn't be but it does often lead to moments when you just sit there and wonder what the hell you're doing. I don't feel like I need to conform to society's standards of having loads of friends and going out if I was content with what I was doing, which I always for the most part have been, but now I'm not. Being stuck indoors so much just gives you too much time sitting with only your own thoughts when you eventually exhaust all forms of entertainment to the point of boredom.
Been playing many of my old games simply to try and get those achievements that were too hard or time consuming to get when I first played through. Completed Mass Effect, Bioshock and some others now with all the achivements and for the time some of them took to get you really don't feel that much better at the end when that little number goes up slightly. It's cool to think 'yeah im slightly better than these guys', but the only people that will see are those looking at your profile and the biggest reaction it'll probably garner is 'hm, cool'.
Thinking of buying some RPGs soon, I like the way how the ones with a good story can just draw you in and make you forget about everything else going on around you. I want to feel like I did as a kid playing FF7 for the first time, and all I could think about whilst playing it were the characters and the story. Movies are good at this to some extent, but since you're just watching you sometimes don't feel as involved with the story and they're never as long as games last.
I also spend a lot of my time browsing the BBS, just reading, not even posting anymore. General forum is all the same every time I look 50% of the topics are girls problems and the other 50% are about school, two topics that I have no interest in discussing on NG. I wish I had the same enthusiasm for posting I did before, but the BBS just doesn't seem the same anymore and a lot of the people that made it special have gone and aren't being replaced by the new crowd.
The Killers, my favouritest band ever, have announced their new single 'Human' recently and I'm loving this song. If you haven't heard it, DO, it might be tricky since YouTube is clamping down on it like a lobster on steroids. It's worth a listen and along with the other two songs from the new album, has really hyped me up for it. I like having something to look forward to. Christmas don't cut it no more.
Just writing all this out makes me feel like some whiney livejournal blogger, but it's better to get it out than sit around F5ing the same page over and over for 10 minutes. If you've sat through reading all this, WELL DONE and THANKS. I want to be upbeat and say screw the world, but there's little giving me that enthusiasm at the moment.
So if I succeed in making hundreds of new friends I'm sure I'll be out all night partying and never have time to come on NG anymore, if I don't.................................
..well I'll be on here as usual, probably more.
IN OTHER NEWS KNUCKLES' HAT IS ON FIRE!
DrJam
cool